Occasionally, we receive a message via the Facebook Page asking if we have a Facebook Group. We don’t and we never will.
There is something about the mentality in Facebook Groups I don’t care for. I have NEVER been in a Facebook Group where someone wasn’t picked on. In fact, The Visiting Room, itself came about because I got kicked out of a group. Truth be told, we do have a group, but it is mostly used by myself and other admins to keep track of projects. I don’t want us to have a Facebook Group where people can chat, because frankly, we don’t need another thing to monitor and keep up with.
I’ve seen girls bullied in Facebook Groups, I’ve seen girls gang up and attack other girls in Facebook Groups and aside from the intended target, the other people it effects is the Admins of said group, people who are shy and chose not to post in the group, and well.. everyone. It hurts everyone. Anyway, our post today was in part, inspired by such an occurrence.
So why can’t we get along? You’d think that as much as we have against us with our partners being in prison that we would want to have people on our side, you know because half the memes we end up posting are about how lonely we are. Instead, there are unwritten rules which enforce our loneliness. We talk about what other couples are doing and in turn it makes us think about our own relationships and what we could be doing that our ‘friends’ might be judging.
I guess in some ways I’m just as guilty about this as everyone else, though having known what its like to be ganged up on, I always try to think about it from all angles before I post anything. I know there are lots of different kinds of relationships that exist and what works for me might not work for everyone else and vice versa. I guess..what I’m saying is that by being in a relationship that is deemed abnormal by society, I try to be more accepting of what normal is to other people who might accept what is normal for me.
Being mean, is abnormal for me, and covering up your meanness by saying you’re “telling it like it is” or “being real” isn’t anything honorable or something that makes you more trustworthy, in my opinion, it makes you rude.