Phases of Love

There is a wax and wane in every relationship. Ours are no different. Once, I described it as a roller coaster and drew out little pictures in a letter I sent to him. He loved it. Other couples seem to have it easier, or they pretend to have it easier. I dunno. Couples where they are able to see and be around each other all of the time don’t have to force a weeks worth of conversations into two fifteen minute phone calls. They end up becoming more about business and not so much romantic and fun. It is hard to stay….connected.

In order to combat this, I’ve started to get real good at my sexual innuendo. Sometimes just flat out saying something dirty as opposed to leading him down this winding path that is, I’m horny and I want him to know it. I hear him trip over his next few words as the smile forms across those lips that I day dream about kissing again, until he begins to laugh. That’s how he knows I need some quality time.

I don’t really every question that he loves me. I know that he loves me in a way that no one has ever loved me, so nz05freely and yet, so kept.; like I’m this little bird who is sitting on his window sill and he doesn’t want to hold me too tight because he’s afraid I’ll going to fly off, so he just lets me do what I want so he can enjoy a few more minutes of my song.

Sorry, back to business, I think we get too caught up in the business of our relationships at times. We have to stay on top of rules, when we mailed letters and passing messages. Then, we have to pay attention to the news and if we’re working on any sort of an appeal, we have to keep up with those deadlines too. It isn’t a lot of fun and there is absolutely no Bonnie and Clyde shit going on.

Sometimes, if one of us has a lot going on, we will take up the entire 15 minutes to get out what we have on our plate. Sometimes it is split evenly. Other times, we just enjoy having the other person there. It is silly. We make our own normal I suppose, but there isn’t a day that I don’t sit and think how happy I am to have him in my life, or worry about how our future will be because as long as we are doing it together I know it will be fine.